Hello HEllo HELlo HELLo HELLO,
O hey, nice to talk to you again. I'm so very, very, very tired. You don't care...so anyways, I worked today. I closed actually. This is the definition of scary. Leave the oven on..BOOM..no more Subway for anyone. Forget to lock the doors..CHA-CHING..Emily looses millions of dollars. But, I did those two things, and I flushed both the toilets so I think I am ok. I hate Mayo...if I could marry a condiment, I would marry Mayo, have its child, then divorce it and take all its money. That's how much I hate it. So we were busy today, and I was making subs faster than an octopus with fingers. This woman told me to put Mayo on her sub, so I was in the process of doing so. I looked at the bottle and thought, "I wonder where the sticker that is usually on top that says 'Mayonaise'?" I didn't ponder too long because we were busy; I just squirted the bottle at the sandwich. Nothing came out, so I squirted harder..and harder..and harder...until I realized everyone was laughing (it took me a while to realize it because "California Gurls" was playing on the radio, and I was dancing on a table in daisy dukes in my head). I then heard, "EMILY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I looked over and realized I had been holding the bottle upside down and was covering my coworker in Mayo. God Bless America. If everyone would just hate Mayo as much as me, we could feed it to dogs (I hate dogs) and then I wouldn't have covered half of Subway in it.
I tried greek yogurt today. I enjoyed it, but I think it's only because my vegetarianism has allowed me to eat things that taste like bodily functions. For example, hummus sort of tastes like what you would think a fart would taste like. But for some reason, I love it...do I talk about farts too much? Well, this greek yogurt kind of tasted like phlegm. And it came with a little bit of peach on the side that I am assuming I was supposed to stir in. The peach concoction resembled baby poop..I don't think it tasted like baby poop (but then again, I have never had baby poop, so it could taste like peaches for all I know). Long story short, it wasn't that bad..a little bitter. I do know it's even better than real yogurt and quite filling...WOOO..and it fits into the hippie mentality too.
Keep Letting It Be,
Em
Hummus is one of my most favorite foods ever, but I don't think of it as tasting like a fart. I can see how that conclusion could be reached, though.
ReplyDeletei hate dogs too. i always LOVED dogs, and every other animal as well. and i like other peoples dogs. but not mine. and i have the perfect dog. dogs dont get any better than Wyatt, but i hate him. like i tell him usually 3 times a week anyway that i hate him. for no reason. i think im mental
ReplyDeletemy dogs are a pain in the BEHIND!! i will NEVER EVER EVER EVER have a dog...well..i probably will..but i won't like it
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