"In Ohio women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear"...so if I'm not wearing underwear??

Hi guys!

I didn't blog yesterday. I am so very sorry. I'm not even going to make up an excuse. I just got back from the drive in way too late and basically fell asleep faster than a narcaleptic full of Nyquil. I saw "How to Train Your Dragon," which was quite good. The second movie was "Date Night." I was concerned this movie would let me down because Tina Fey and Steve Carell are more fun than a box of Rice Krispies (really..have you ever just looked into a box of Rice Krispies? It's so funny..plus they talk!) Anyways, I figured it would never match up to my high expectations of Steve and Tina. However, I WAS WRONG!! I personally loved it!

Today, I realized that I am too judgmental of people who ride my bumper when I drive. You know who that feeling..."THIS GUY WON'T GET OFF MY [EXPLICIT]. IT'S [EXPLICIT]ING ANNOYING!" You see, we always assume that the people riding our bumpers are just jerks who think they are in more of a hurry than anyone else, but today, I was the bumper rider. I was the bumper rider, not because I just felt like being a boob, but because I had to poo like you would never believe. I took the minivan to Wal Mart, and this load came out of no where. Because of my serious fear of public bathrooms (i'm scared of vomit, heights, and public bathrooms in that order), I risked carrying my dinner in my new panties just to drive all the way across town to grandma's toilet, which is probably ickier than Wal Mart's (we all know how grandmas' toilets are). So I am driving as fast as possible, and I am basically sitting on top of the Buick in front of me. They were not happy...I could just feel it...ehh...maybe that was just poop cramps. Long story short, don't get so angry at bumper riders...they might have to poop.

At work today, I served enough food to feed every person in the Chinese phonebook. I'm pretty sure that everyone in the state of Ohio had a conference call and said, "Let's go to Subway at the exact same time and make Emily cry." Everything was going well, Sarah and I made a 7 sub platter. Platters are fun because you don't have someone leaning over the sneeze guard (it's the glass thing covering the veggies..that's its real name...so fascinating) staring at their sub to make sure that each banana pepper is cocked at a 96 degree angle. After the platter, the madness began. I had someone call in 6 subs. I was making those then about 20 people came in..no joke. So I am barrelling through these subs; I think I may still have a pickle in my pants, and the man comes in for the 6 subs. So now I am trying to make 6 subs while hurdling the subs Sarah is trying to make for the people in the store. Then the drive thru thing goes off.."Hi, Welcome to Subway; I'll be with you in a minute." Back to the six subs...okay,..done with the six subs...more people in line...twenty minutes passing..DING-drive thru goes off..."Hi, Welcome to Subway; I'll be with you in a minute." "I HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE!!" "Ahh crap!..Go ahead when you're ready." Guess who forgot someone was in the drive thru?? Me and her became best friends. God Bless America. Sorry that was a little excessive, but it was sooooo horrible. I still love this job though..I love people.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em