"See Ya Later Lillian!"

Good Morning, or afternoon or evening or morrow (whatever the heck that means) in case you're in some stupid time zone,

You were getting nervous weren't you? You were like "OMG it's after 11, and Emily has not blogged yet!" Well have no fear, I am blogging now..in my bed..naked...with caramel rice cakes. Okay, I lied..but I am blogging. I am EXHAUSTED, so I am praying this stays clear enough to be read...but consider this your warning...I am not responsible for any time wasted reading this.

First of all, I wanted to tell all of you to make sure you stay friends with me. Why you ask? Well that way when I'm famous, you can sell all my dirty secrets to the press and tabloids for tons of money. I am still reading Oprah's book in case you're wondering why I am bringing this up; I am just trying to help you out. I know Oprah's relatives are currently making enough money to buy one of Oprah's toenail clippings on Ebay just by selling all her lies and secrets. Now, it seems like a good plan, but Oprah seems to have a lot more secrets than me. Contrary to popular belief, I was not wrongly elected as Miss Black Nashville...I was third runner up. But I am giving you a free secret...so someone better call dibs. I am an acclaimed, proud, educated, ten toe having vegetarian, and I make sure everyone knows that it has been almost a year and a month. But I will let you all know my shameful secret...I keep beef jerkey in my socks....but that's just so my feet don't stink. The real secret is...on March 14th, 2010, I was having pizza at my grandmas. My dad got a half cheese, half pepperoni pizza. I took a bit of what I thought was cheese..BUT MUCH TO MY SURPIRSE IT WAS A PEPPERONI! It was trying to trick me, but I caught the rascal before I swallowed it. I am still so very ashamed though...God Save the Queen. But that secret has to be worth at least like $16.75 to the National Enquirer right now or something.

Other than my usual, run, work, eat, and baptize people routine, I went to Colin's house today. He was soooo pumped to show me his garage sale purchase...he paid 20 dollars for it. I must say that the moment he showed me this purchase, I knew I was in love. The heavens opened and flutes and harps played in the background. Twinkies fell from the sky, and Justin Beiber was singing with the harps and flutes. That is how wonderful this purchase was; I was so proud of him. Colin bought himself 23 WWE action figures complete with a table and ladder (for those of you who haven't been sucked into the hole of male soap opera..those are wrestling action figures.) He and I will play with them soon.

Well, I am ever so tired...and I have to be a sandwich artist again tomorrow. God Speed John Smith.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em