Non-dairy creamer is flammable...no wonder I have heartburn...

Hello my friends, enemies, pets, and acquaintences with functionable corneas,
It's time for another blog!! WOOPAHH! I have come to realize that this may well be my favorite time of the day. I am currently doing what every 19 year old should do at 7 p.m...watch ICarly and bake a cake. ICarly makes me want to put hooks through my toes and hang myself from my bedroom window (which wouldn't be a big deal because I live on the first floor but think about hooks in your toe..goo!). Then why are you watching this television show, Emily? Well thank you for pondering...I will tell you. It is because I am too stinking lazy to reach over and flip it. Flipping a television in the kitchen involves sticking a yellow colored pencil into a hole where the flippy buttons used to be. So basically, it's a life or death situation...I could be electrocuded...and I'll be DARNED if I die for IamthemostannoyingpreteenintheworldCarly. As for my cake, it's 50% reduced sugar white cake with chocolate icing..I won't eat any of it. I never do...I just have this weird addiction to baking....take a number boys!!
Today...what did I do today. I ate almond Special K cereal (off brand of course)..WE'RE IN A RECESSION PEOPLE! Then, I got to run again! Glory, Glory Hallelujah...however, now I am creeped out by running. You see I have realized that the only time I can go to the Y is also the same time as old women swimming. I respect this more than anything in the world; I am glad they are worried about exercising. But you see in order to get into a swim suit...one has to get NAKED..BUTT NAKED! I'm a liberal..I think people should be able to do what they want when they want (even if that means doing cartwheels with flaming midgets tied to your feet), but there ought to be a law against nudity over the age of..well I'm 19..so 19. And it's not even that they are naked, it is the amount of time they are naked. Let's talk about our life story while we are naked, and when you're 99, you have a dang long life story. "Well Thelma, the air pressure this morning reminded me of the air pressure it was on the morning Abraham Lincoln was gunned down. I hope that doesn't mean I have run out of oatmeal at home." Naked conversations...naked conversations between 90 year old women..naked conversations between 90 year old women that last 25 minutes...I'm bringing blinders from now on.
Of course, I was a sandwich artist after I ran. Work went awesome actually; it flew. But I have noticed that I am an accent attractor. I am pretty sure my boss put a sign outfront that said, "If you can barely speak English, please come inside between the hours of 11-2 to order the most complicated sub in the world with our new sandwich artist Emily." But really, it's interesting; I can't complain too much. Today, it was Japanese workers from Setex. While I can barely understand anything they say except for, "Amweecan cheese," they are just about as cute as a pair of glasses on a 3 year old child (how do they know people who can't read need glasses anyways?). Sorry my day wasn't very eventful...but my cake is done so I must depart. If anyone wants a piece...YOU'RE SCREWED!

I took the vegetarian sticker off my laptop because it was getting skankier than my sister's excessively sweaty feet in flip flops during the summer, but I promise I am still abstaining from eating meat..I just wanted to let you know in case you came to my house and looked at my laptop.

PS: I am currently reading Oprah's biography by Kitty Kelly. Top 2 things I have learned so far: a) Oprah had a child when she was 15, but it died after a month...and b) it was rumored at ABC that she and Diane Sawyer have a...well..they like each other a lot...maybe I should find a new hero.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em