Friday, June 18, 2010

I Can Balance On My Left Leg For 12.3 Seconds When There Is A Breeze From The Southeast

HI (I may or may not have just jammed my "I" key into my keyboard...I'm angry)

My name is Emily, and I am the queen boss of every Subway on the face of the Earth. Not only do I determine the rules for Subway, but I determine all the prices, and all the places that take Subway points as well. WAIT...I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's play a game....it's called yell at a 19 year old girl who is just trying to work her summer job because YOU CAN'T READ A SIGN!! Congrats man with a giant tattoo on his ribcage..YOU WIN! Let me tell you, this man looked like he had been in the sun for about 309482 hours. I should have known he was going to be cranky. Secondly, he had this tattoo on his ribcage..I'm pretty sure it was the first chapter of Harry Potter or something; it was just a bunch of words. It could have also said, "I have never been happy with any Subway in my entire life, so you might as well just start crying now."

This man was also with a woman...a woman who obviously knew he was about to make my life Hades. She was very quiet, and she just tried to keep him from making me stick my head in the oven. He wants a turkey ham sub with chicken pieces. WTF!! This is NOT the White House kitchen, and you are NOT Barack Obama. You cannot have any kind of concoction you want! After he yelled at the other Emily, she gave in and we found a way to ring it up. They also got a buffalo chicken and another turkey ham...none of which are 5 dollar footlongs. The total $22.50. They pay, yell, and leave (in no particular order). We carry on with our other customers who appreciate what we do and here comes Cranky McSunburn yelling somemore. "WAS MY SUB 15 BUCKS?!?! I DONT EAT 15 DOLLAR SUBS!!" "Um..no sir..your sub was $9.50. I can get you a receipt.....here you go." "THIS IS AWFUL!!!"

Out storms my new favorite customer, whose head was steaming more than my fingers do when I accidently stick them into the meatballs, with the receipt in hand. Back to the wonderful woman with the beautiful newborn boy in her hands. DING DONG..."O shitake moo moo!" Now he has the subs in his hands, and he is stomping on the newborn...k the newborn thing is a lie...but I wouldn't put it past this man. "WERE THESE NOT 5 DOLLAR FOOT LONGS!?!?! I DONT WANT EM!!! GIVE ME MY MONEY" At this point, I am more defeated than an overweight fifth grader with no arms playing dodgeball. I give him his money. I lost.

It take a lot to make Emily Eileen angry. My friends, I was angry. Tell me that I ruined your life by making you pay for your subs...I didn't did I?..ok..just making sure.

For future reference....You have to pay for subs...just makin sure you guys understand that so you're never as confused as Cranky McSunburn.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em

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