Hello Everyone,
It's been a while again. I apologize...I decided to become everyone's everything this summer and haven't had a gosh darn moment to myself in ages. So, I'm turning a new page today and trying to be a blogger again - because my brain is becoming overloaded with Emily footnotes to life.
First of all, I want to have a quick discussion about time. So we all know that when I want time, finding it is like looking for Waldo in the student section of a Ohio State football game. But when you don't want time...say like when someone gets a sub toasted and you have to stand in front of them like a visor wearing lawn gnome for 35 seconds...it makes itself very painfully present. Here's an exercise: Go to the stopwatch in your phone, start it, wait thirty five seconds..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Alright, now imagine how that would have felt if you would have been standing in front of a total stranger both of you locked in an "I'm Really Trying to Think of Something to Say But All I Can Think About Is How Weird Your Eyebrows Are" stare.
That's my life, and for that reason, I am resigning as a sandwich artist. Okay, okay, it's not just because of that; however, I will be ending my tenure at Subway tomorrow. I have found a different job..or two..or three, so I will be leaving the mayo slinging and bread slicing to the rest of my colleagues. HOLLA AT MY PEOPLE!
On a brighter note, my grandma is finally getting situated at the nursing home. She is totally pumped about being at ICHAWYSU (short for "I Can't Hear A Word You're Saying University" and known by most as The Gardens Nursing home, but I renamed it. Because if I got a quarter for every time I heard "HUH? You went to church for cheese and rice?", I would have enough money to buy my grandma bumpers for her electric wheel chair so she stops putting holes in the wall and getting charged for damages).
Anyways, grandma actually loves the place. She had a few best friends (one of which she has been friends with since she was 3). They talk smack about everyone else in their nursing home (which I'm not sure what exactly this "smack" is because Lord knows none of them can do the things most people who get talked "smack" about do..if you know what I'm saying. But, I do know Stella cheats at bingo and Martin hides some of his dinner in his knapsack because he's "backwards" - I would be more worried about Stella and Martin seeing this if the font was 72 but it's not so we don't need to worry).
I was reading through the newsletter for ICHAWYSU while we took down my grandma's bed yesterday (she sleeps on her chair..she's 80 something. If she wants to sleep in the chair, who are you to judge?! BACK OFF). Turns out July 14th is Nude Day...FORGET LAWRENCE WELK...we're playing Twister! Kidding..I will be avoiding the nursing home at all costs that day.
Keep Letting It Be,
Em
No comments:
Post a Comment