I Almost Cut My Hair Into A Mohawk Today

HIYA FRIENDS!
Confession: I really didn't almost cut my hair into a mohawk today. To be quite frank, the thought didn't even cross my mind. But, it got you to read. So now that you're here, you might as well stay a while.
Without a people associated job, life becomes quite slow. I have gotten myself stuck in a rut. I'm not sad. I'm not happy. I'm not angry. I'm just treading water (in the shallow end because I can't swim very well). Anyways, the one thing that still sort of keeps me going is working out. Recently (because of my rut), I have been eating like Paula Deen at a butter convention. So the need to work out burns in the very depths of my gut; well that's probably just indigestion, but it gets me to workout so we'll leave it at that.
No..no we won't leave that point. Today, I went to work out in the afternoon at the Y. The 4th of July meant 1 thing for me: GO CRAZY IN THE FOOD DEPARTMENT. I baked a jello cake, some brownie/peanut butter/ marshmallow fluff concoction, and 2 batches of "There Has To Be A God Because These Are Too Delicious To Come From Anywhere Else" brownies. I also pleaded with my mother to make me baked beans. My relationship with baked beans is like the summer fling you have in Cancun. I have them in front of me, and they look SOOO GOOD! On impulse, you absolutely devour the object in front of you. But once you're done with it, you realize they did much more harm than good; AND YET, you go back to them every year (but only once a year because they do WAY TOO MUCH DAMAGE to have more than once).
So today, my poor body was processing all the above listed desserts, a serving size of baked beans that literally paid for 12 bean farmers' children to attend college (and med school), a veggie burger loaded with onions and cheese, ummm baked chips, macaroni and cheese, o gosh I'm getting nauseated...you get the picture.
With all the food in my mind, I thought today was a good day to KICK MY OWN BUTT! I went to the Y at an odd time in hopes there would be no one there (in the event my stupid stomach decided to actually digest something for a change). There were only a few people there and no one around me on the elliptical. I didn't go crazy because there is always the threat of the "I Just Farted And It's Lingering And The Girl Who Always Made Fun Of Me In High School Is Coming Right At Me" fart, but I made sure my stomach wasn't cramping..this is TMI and I know I will never become president because I'm putting this personal information on the internet.
When I went to the treadmill, however, there was someone beside me. I just wanted to jog out a mile...just to burn some extra calories, so I wasn't too worried. Letting my guard down was a MISTAKE. We'll just say that it would have been more pleasant for the woman beside me to smell my gym shoe filled with cheese and gasoline. So I hurriedly stopped the treadmill, and like a good gym rat, I went to clean the treadmill. Guess who only "paused" the treadmill and didn't bring it to a complete stop? THIS GIRL! Not only had the woman found out the worst my body could do, but she also watched me step of a treadmill that was still slightly moving. After a small fall and a "WOAH", I bid goodbye to the poor woman and went on my merry way (I most definitely did not bid goodbye...I put my head down and kicked myself for wearing a shirt with my last name on it). I hope I never see baked beans again.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em