Everyone who is not ME, KERRI, BRENDA, or...DANIELLE..i think..are NOT champions!

Hello NON champions,

Today, I put my basketball shoes back on. It was liberating. Basketball and I have an odd relationship. We broke up around October, but I am still madly in love with it. However, it hurts me. It hurts my joints and my schedule...so we just can't make it work. BUT, I still get to do Gus Mackers sooooo we're kind of "friends with benefits" you could say.

Anyways...we played in a Gus Macker today. We being Kerri Imwalle, a friend from high school, Brenda, and Danielle (2 of Kerri's friends..I didn't know their names til the third game). For those of you who don't know what Gus Mackers are, I will give a brief explanation. They are basketball tournaments where all bets are off basically. No blood, no foul...unless you call it. Which when it comes to women, becomes the SCARIEST part of the tournament. Men are all like, "ME MAN. ME HAVE PRIDE. ME NO CALL FOULS!" Women are like, "I am a civilized individual and this girl just graced my nipple..FOUL!"

We played four games. The first game was against a bunch of fairly older women. I think half of them were going through menopause. Not because they looked old, but because they were CRANKY! O but we beat them...then they went back to the nursing home...KIDDING..I think they were just getting lunch. The next team turned the crankiness up 500. Think of your mom in the morning..now picture yourself dropping your whole box of Honey Bunches of Oats on the floor...now think of your mom coming down stairs into the kitchen just in time to see you sweeping all the cereal into the basement because you're too lazy to get the dust pan out...that's how cranky this team was. Not only were they cranky, but they were TATT TATT TATTED UP! I'm glad I made it out alive...and with a victory.

The third team was a breath of fresh air. They had school buses on their shirts...I think I missed the joke. This game was AMAZING because it was POURING down rain. As a matter of fact, I was knocked into a giant puddle at one point, and I began to yell, "BEACHED WHALE! BEACHED WHALE!" And did I mention...these girls were sophomores in high school? No one signed up for their age bracket...so they got the priveledge of being spanked by our awesomeness.

The only fun thing about the last team...we beat them. They were tattooless...normal looking...no anger management issues..they all had hair long enough for ponytails...and they were our age...BORING. But we won..OOO..and we got the sportsmanship award. I think that was because I didn't punch the 45 year old woman in the face after she ripped off 3/4 of the skin on my right arm.

At Subway the other day, a man asked for a breakfast sub. I responded, "Would you like me to put egg white or egg whole on it?" He heard, "Would you like egg whites or my 'A' hole on it?" Even though he asked...my 'A' whole was not put on his sub.

O..and at the Dollar Tree yesterday...I was asked if I was a boy or a girl by a NOT CUTE child...I'm a girl...in case you guys were confused.

Keep Letting It Be,
Em