"I love these things."

Mammals who are capable of reading,

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!! I'm blogging. You know what? I can't keep a bloody promise to save my life, so NO MORE PROMISES!

Anyways, I have been exceptionally busy this summer. I love me some sub making, so that really takes up the majority of my time. The good news for you..sub making creates quite entertaining stories. I have come to be what you may call "A Sub Master." This means I construct subs of excellence and beauty. However, like Tiger Woods and BP, I mess up occassionally. The good news is...people can only find out about my screw ups through my blog instead of Good Morning America and The New York Times.

Yesterday, Sarah and I were painfully busy...like busier than the showers in the ladies locker room at the Y after water aerobics. Therefore, we ran out of white bread. We had also been out of the new italian sausage for a few days because it was such a hot seller. A man came in and wanted italian bread. After we crushed his spirits by telling him we were out of his "normal bread," he asked for the italian sausage. "EXCUSE ME SIR..could you be more difficult?!?!" I thought he was going to shed a few tears, but he finally decided upon tuna......about that...Sarah says, "Emily, can you get me some tuna?" "Sure Sarah, I'll just grab it out of the...." TINA TURNER! There is none prepared in the cooler.

HAVE NO FEAR..EMILY THE SUB MASTER IS HERE...I decide this is my moment to shine. I dive into the cooler and grab the tuna pouch. I then proceed to frantically cover it in mayo, glove my hands, and delve my fingers into the gooey mass. In my intense tuna mixing, I seemed to cover the wall, the table, my face, the pens, my apron, and even the calculator in tuna. The kitchen looked like someone threw the Little Mermaid and a bunch of mayo into a blender without a lid. As sweat dripped from my brow and I grabbed a small container to rush the tuna of excellence to the front, I hear Sarah wrapping the sub......."O..sorry Emily...I made the tuna we had in the front work when I heard you grabbing all the stuff to make it." "That's fine Sarah, but you can come to my house tonight and wash the tuna from my hair and sports bra."

I do love my Subway though, and I have started to develop "The Subway/English Dictionary," which translates customer requests into real English..here are a few I have so far:
-"Brown Bread": Wheat Bread
-"Spicy Hot Cheese": Pepperjack cheese
-"9 Grain White Cheese Bread": I have never been to Subway before so I won't even notice what kind of bread you give me
-"Red Sauce": Marinara sauce (NOT HOT SAUCE..they will come back in 10 minutes later with a sub with 1 bite taken out of it to remind you of this)
-"Purple Pepper": Red Onions and Peppers
-"Dem Peppers that aint gonna make my eyes water": Banana peppers

Keep Letting It Be,
Em